Nightmares.

How is it already July? I feel like the summer is going to pass before I have the chance to even soak it in. I haven’t been in the sun enough, because on most days I am cooped up in a 35 degree rink (my choice, I know). Now that it’s July I can begin the countdown to my pre-bronze test, just 12 more days to go. Please kill me now. Maybe I’m not ready for this…

Last night I had a dream...no a nightmare, that I failed my pre-bronze test. I was hysterical. I wish I knew what I had done wrong, all I remember is asking to reskate an element and the judge wasn’t having it so I started crying. I tried telling her that I had only been skating for 6 months, but she wasn’t having it. I went home angry and didn’t want to ever go through testing again.

I hope I don’t react in the same way on testing day if I do fail, but God it was miserable. I woke up so confused, as if I had actually failed my first skating test. I haven’t skated since Friday and don’t skate again until Wednesday. I will try my best to get on the ice at some point tomorrow before my lesson on Wednesday, but that is dependent on the availability of my physical therapist. I am actually worried that I will get on the ice and flub everything I’ve learned due to that stupid dream. I know I need to put it behind me, but my exam isn’t for two weeks, surely I will have more of these dreams. Funny thing is that usually I have skating dreams if I’ve been skating a lot in a week, but I’ve really kept to a strict schedule (physical therapists orders) with recovery days so I don’t over do it. Why was I dreaming about a test I haven’t thought about in days? I don’t know.

Right now, I just can’t wait to get back on the ice. It’s been too long. Happy Skating!