Fear

I had another private lesson with my favorite coach today! Gosh, I know everyone says they have the best coach, but my coach is THE BEST. With that being said, I didn’t give it my all today. I warmed up and felt awesome before getting on the ice. My coach mentioned in passing recently that I was “timid” and “stiff” on the ice. It hadn’t occurred to me before, but it definitely made sense. Since that moment, when I’m off the ice, I think to myself about how my attitude needs to change. I try to loosen my muscles while I am skating, but fear is holding me back.

Today, before getting on the ice I told my coach that I was going to give it my all. I’m going to try to break free from being timid and fearful. I tried to change my mentality but it just doesn’t translate when I’m on the ice. I know that I need to let go of that fear. When my coach tells me to do a one foot spin I just need to do it, without giving her the “I’m afraid” or “please no” look. Yet, I gave her these looks with the spins and toe loops today. Every single time I get ready to do a toe loop I freak myself out or I don’t actually jump. It scares me half to death. She tried to sympathize with me by telling me that she is also scared when trying new things, but doesn’t let it show. Unfortunately for me, you can read all my emotions on my face at any given time.

I’m not quite sure how I am going to let go of the fear. I feel like when kids are learning to skate they can just imitate what their coach shows them, but when adults learn they know the possible outcomes...and that impacts their performance. Adults also need to know the breakdown of the moves, step by step. Understanding where weight needs to be in the boot and such. I don’t think any other sport will make you more aware of your body than figure skating.

“Check your shoulder”

“Your boot needs to touch your other ankle before moving forward”

“Make sure your weight is on your pinky toes”

“Transfer your weight from your left leg to your right leg”

“Bend your knees….more...more….now hold...hold….hold”

“Lift your toes”

In the next month I am going to make it my goal to work on overcoming fear. Sure, I am going to work on learning more moves, jumps, and spins...but the only way I will truly progress is if I overcome it.